Hadsomdib is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, able skunk.

Hadsomdib created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadsomdib, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hadsomdib, she will turn you into a snail.

Hadsomdib's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hadsomdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green shoes on sacred days.

2. Never talk about dark energy near manatees while wearing red shirts and balancing eight silver spheres on your arms.

3. Always store wheat above ground.

4. Do not fashion tools from tin.

5. Do not speak about carrots.