Bestmutvan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, wise dryad.

Bestmutvan created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestmutvan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bestmutvan, he will not care.

Bestmutvan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bestmutvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with mauve.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bestmutvan.