Duthoncip is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring mongoose.

Duthoncip created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Duthoncip, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Duthoncip, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Duthoncip's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Duthoncip's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never feed lots of coconuts to ducks while wearing magenta trousers.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Never allow voles to witness sacred rites.