Dussarmxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong camel.

Dussarmxuc created a top quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussarmxuc, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dussarmxuc, he will destroy your home solar system.

Dussarmxuc's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Dussarmxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dussarmxuc.

3. Do not consume bananas at dawn.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not prepare cucumbers while wearing shirts.