Sakgumnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, irritating bear.

Sakgumnurl created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakgumnurl, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sakgumnurl, he will turn you into a tree.

Sakgumnurl's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Sakgumnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to dolphins while wearing green shoes.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.