Tonkbemvol is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, wise wombat.

Tonkbemvol created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbemvol, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tonkbemvol, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tonkbemvol's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tonkbemvol's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are not to be trusted.

2. Hide from gray pigs for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.