Hotcaryarp is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional pig.

Hotcaryarp created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotcaryarp, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hotcaryarp, she will torture you forever.

Hotcaryarp's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Hotcaryarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at midnight.

2. Never talk about special relativity near capybaras while wearing brown rings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your head.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never travel toward the north during winter.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.