Larpkabjarnkabrowgilfig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unjust spider.

Larpkabjarnkabrowgilfig created the Tadpole Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpkabjarnkabrowgilfig, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Larpkabjarnkabrowgilfig, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Larpkabjarnkabrowgilfig's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Larpkabjarnkabrowgilfig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five snails approach from the north.

2. Always share figs with strangers, but never with foxes.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never prepare onions during autumn.