Lapominhad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless fish.

Lapominhad created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapominhad, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lapominhad, it will come to you in dreams.

Lapominhad's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lapominhad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Lapominhad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never allow foxes to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

5. Never pour water over plants.