Somlakjadtomgubzancempog is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, awesome dragonfly.

Somlakjadtomgubzancempog created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somlakjadtomgubzancempog, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Somlakjadtomgubzancempog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Somlakjadtomgubzancempog's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Somlakjadtomgubzancempog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not keep eight grasshopers in a large pit.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Somlakjadtomgubzancempog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not prepare wheat while wearing scarves.