Tonkfagtom is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, duplicitous badger.

Tonkfagtom created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfagtom, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tonkfagtom, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tonkfagtom's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Tonkfagtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at midnight.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.

5. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.