Cipxuckgov is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, all-knowing parrot.

Cipxuckgov created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipxuckgov, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cipxuckgov, he will refuse to believe in you.

Cipxuckgov's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cipxuckgov's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to nine before sleeping.

2. Do not resist balance.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.