Yokhantim is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, egotistical coyote.

Yokhantim created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokhantim, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yokhantim, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yokhantim's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Yokhantim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never pray while filled with anger.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.