Sterpanmid is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sage lobster.

Sterpanmid created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Sterpanmid, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sterpanmid, he will turn you into a goat.

Sterpanmid's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Sterpanmid's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with red markings.

2. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

3. Sterpanmid must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never mark doors with fawn.

5. Do not consume cherries at dawn.