Gedsandbapflan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, stupid alligator.

Gedsandbapflan created the planet Earth three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedsandbapflan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gedsandbapflan, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gedsandbapflan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gedsandbapflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

3. Never feed cucumbers to frogs while wearing shirts.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Gedsandbapflan on top of important buildings.