Flapruttvil is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, ruthless grasshopper.

Flapruttvil created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapruttvil, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flapruttvil, he will destroy your home solar system.

Flapruttvil's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Flapruttvil's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Flapruttvil in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never sing near capybaras.

5. Do not skip in public.