Sitortgofont is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing hummingbird.

Sitortgofont created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitortgofont, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sitortgofont, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sitortgofont's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sitortgofont's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross forests at midday.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Do not name children after eagles.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.