Gofzakjin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered alligator.

Gofzakjin created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Gofzakjin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofzakjin, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gofzakjin's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Gofzakjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near badgers while wearing purple hats and balancing three tin spheres on your legs.