Yarlkinsab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, almighty crocodile.

Yarlkinsab created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlkinsab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarlkinsab, she will boil you in a big pot.

Yarlkinsab's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Yarlkinsab's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five seals near towers.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Yarlkinsab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Erect eight lead sculptures of Yarlkinsab on top of important buildings.

5. You must pray to Yarlkinsab three times a day.