Tipgutfly is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, idiotic aardvark.

Tipgutfly created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Tipgutfly, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tipgutfly, she will cry a lot.

Tipgutfly's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tipgutfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never allow turtles to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Never record secrets.

5. Never sit in winter.