Kikhogpit Hasrapwadnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unjust crow.

Kikhogpit Hasrapwadnurl created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikhogpit Hasrapwadnurl, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kikhogpit Hasrapwadnurl, he will not invite you to parties.

Kikhogpit Hasrapwadnurl's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Kikhogpit Hasrapwadnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

2. Never feed lots of peanuts to goats while wearing blue shoes.

3. Never think about special relativity near cats while wearing indigo skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your feet.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.