Yarltipzag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, prudent cow.

Yarltipzag created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yarltipzag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarltipzag, he will think nothing of it.

Yarltipzag's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Yarltipzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarltipzag.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.