Cibpangrill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage gorilla.

Cibpangrill created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cibpangrill, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cibpangrill, he will remove you from existence.

Cibpangrill's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Cibpangrill's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.