Rulhimdam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, contented clam.

Rulhimdam created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulhimdam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rulhimdam, she will turn you into a puffin.

Rulhimdam's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Rulhimdam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick great tits.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rulhimdam.

4. Never hurt mice.

5. Never sing in summer.