Bonktofpin is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy troll.

Bonktofpin created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonktofpin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bonktofpin, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bonktofpin's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bonktofpin's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry frogs.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.