Wattofcub is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, ruthless cat.

Wattofcub created the Cigar Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Wattofcub, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wattofcub, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wattofcub's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Wattofcub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always count to six before sleeping.

3. Never feed lemons to dolphins while wearing trousers.

4. Never remain standing at midnight.

5. Always wear magenta.