Lunlaphun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, merciless mink.

Lunlaphun created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunlaphun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lunlaphun, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Lunlaphun's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Lunlaphun's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Lunlaphun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.