Bapkonsas is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, ruthless yak.

Bapkonsas created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapkonsas, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bapkonsas, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bapkonsas' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bapkonsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Always obey Bapkonsas' priests.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.