Flanmilvad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, almighty armadillo.

Flanmilvad created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flanmilvad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flanmilvad, it will be very sad.

Flanmilvad's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Flanmilvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Never hurt aardvarks.

5. Respect your elders.