Fomnakcip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, calm camel.

Fomnakcip created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fomnakcip, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fomnakcip, she will turn you into a dog.

Fomnakcip's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Fomnakcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in spring.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.