Quartdapapp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish eagle.

Quartdapapp created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartdapapp, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quartdapapp, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Quartdapapp's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Quartdapapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shoes marked with blue.

2. Do not fashion tools from gold.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quartdapapp.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.