Gilnadstik is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, temperamental elephant.

Gilnadstik created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Gilnadstik, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gilnadstik, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gilnadstik's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gilnadstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five voles in one place.

2. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

3. Run away from yellow mice, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Do not laugh at forests.