Zimcudsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, temperamental newt.

Zimcudsaw created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zimcudsaw, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zimcudsaw, he will turn you into a slug.

Zimcudsaw's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Zimcudsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Zimcudsaw's name in vain.

2. Always cleanse water with water.

3. Do not hurt dolphins.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Never talk about cell theory.