Ratkonquat is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable lion.

Ratkonquat created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratkonquat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ratkonquat, she will try to impress you with trees.

Ratkonquat's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Ratkonquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.

2. Never think ill of sick shrews.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.