Mutbomwap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, dishonest shark.

Mutbomwap created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutbomwap, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mutbomwap, she will manifest in front of you.

Mutbomwap's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Mutbomwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near otters while wearing fawn corsets and balancing six silicon spheres on your neck.

2. Worship no other gods but Mutbomwap.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Never record names.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.