Flatgilbep is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless hedgehog.

Flatgilbep created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatgilbep, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flatgilbep, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flatgilbep's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Flatgilbep's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not kill ducks.

3. Never hurt aardvarks.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.