Largwabfetsit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unthoughtful sheep.

Largwabfetsit created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largwabfetsit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Largwabfetsit, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Largwabfetsit's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Largwabfetsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

2. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

3. Never travel toward the west during spring.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not sprint in public.