Lopjopfeb is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ruthless dragon.

Lopjopfeb created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopjopfeb, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lopjopfeb, it will curse you with boils.

Lopjopfeb's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Lopjopfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of elders.

2. Always help sick aardvarks.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Lopjopfeb on top of all buildings.

4. Never touch water while tainted.

5. Never gather six mites in one place.