Bogcitwapdib is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, grumpy newt.

Bogcitwapdib created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogcitwapdib, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bogcitwapdib, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bogcitwapdib's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bogcitwapdib's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Never adorn your head with cyan markings.