Loptonkjatsinyamfubdut is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, clever newt.

Loptonkjatsinyamfubdut created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loptonkjatsinyamfubdut, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Loptonkjatsinyamfubdut, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Loptonkjatsinyamfubdut's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Loptonkjatsinyamfubdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing green skirts and balancing seven copper spheres on your neck.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.