Zogmobcun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, all-powerful bat.

Zogmobcun created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogmobcun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zogmobcun, he will turn you into a sheep.

Zogmobcun's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zogmobcun's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never cross rivers at midnight.

3. Zogmobcun loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics.