Loopbadcip is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, able narwhal.

Loopbadcip created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbadcip, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Loopbadcip, it will turn you into a worm.

Loopbadcip's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Loopbadcip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never think about spacetime near sharks while wearing orange skirts and balancing eight lead spheres on your head.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

5. Never cross forests at midday.