Wapmidben Yatjoncinxemfot is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil giraffe.

Wapmidben Yatjoncinxemfot created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapmidben Yatjoncinxemfot, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Wapmidben Yatjoncinxemfot, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Wapmidben Yatjoncinxemfot's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Wapmidben Yatjoncinxemfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Never eat lentils on days of mourning.

3. Do not consume garlic at dawn.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Never laugh near great tits.