Largpigfun is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awesome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Largpigfun created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Largpigfun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Largpigfun, he will remove you from existence.

Largpigfun's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Largpigfun's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat garlic.

2. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

3. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

4. Never gather three manatees near doors.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.