Titloopfar is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciful dugong.

Titloopfar created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titloopfar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Titloopfar, she will turn you into a goat.

Titloopfar's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Titloopfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never leap in the presence of elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not gather at towers at dusk.