Hotkomrull is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful shark.

Hotkomrull created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotkomrull, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hotkomrull, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hotkomrull's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hotkomrull's Holy Commandments

1. Hotkomrull loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Retreat if nine aardvarks approach from the east.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Hotkomrull on top of all buildings.