Pinstragjin is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fussy rhinoceros.

Pinstragjin created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pinstragjin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pinstragjin, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Pinstragjin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Pinstragjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near monkeys.

2. Never sing in the presence of goats.

3. Never fashion tools from wood.

4. Do not record secrets concerning comets.

5. Always help sheep.