Nabgesslop is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless tapir.

Nabgesslop created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nabgesslop, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nabgesslop, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Nabgesslop's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nabgesslop's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

4. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.