Gemgeddin is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, selfish mink.

Gemgeddin created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemgeddin, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemgeddin, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gemgeddin's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gemgeddin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gemgeddin.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never feed peanuts to seals while wearing purple scarves.

4. Remain kneeling during prayer.

5. Do not covet oxen.