Dapquamfig Satbedfoss is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, flying mongoose.

Dapquamfig Satbedfoss created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapquamfig Satbedfoss, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dapquamfig Satbedfoss, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dapquamfig Satbedfoss' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dapquamfig Satbedfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Dapquamfig Satbedfoss must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not wear corsets marked with red.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.